Real Friendship with Real People with Whom We Have Real Differences


A recent gathering, in the Davis home, of the Apex Mosque/Fellowship of Christ
Dinner Club. We gather monthly for a halal (permissible for Muslims) potluck
meal, lots of laughter and friendship-building, and occasional serious talk as
well. At present, we are exploring ways we can work together as Muslims and
Christians to serve refugees moving into our area.


by Thomas Davis

It is my privilege to serve as a Global Peacemaking Coach with Peace Catalyst International. Our work is not rocket science. Rather, it’s simply a matter of opening our hearts (and often our homes) to meet people where they are, to build genuine friendship, and to share with these friends the little things in life—like pancake suppers, play dates with our children, golf outings, coffee shop pow wows, and three-hour potluck meals. This is loving others in the way of Jesus. And it’s how I want to live my life—because it is the way of Jesus, because it’s a liberating way to live, and because real friendship always leads to deep discussions and often new understandings about life and love and the most important matters of the heart.


Jesus—Friend of Sinners and Respecter of Those from the Other Side of the Religious Tracks


This is the kids’ table at the Mosque/Church Dinner Club. In the past, I have
said that we will know we are succeeding in our peacemaking work when
Muslim and Christian children are playing together. In reality, however, our
kids will lead the way for us if we let them!


Notoriously, Jesus was friendly with all the “wrong” people—oppressors, partiers, prostitutes, women in general, and even those from the other monotheistic religion. He gave dignity and respect to all manner of outcasts and outsiders, and He invites us to do the same—to build real friendship with real people with whom we have real differences.

Jesus’ call is not to a politely-tolerate-one-another sort of “friendship,” because in Jesus’ economy tolerance is a bar set too low and He instructs us to actively love others, even those whom we might think of as enemies. In Luke 6:27-28, Jesus compels us to love, do good to, bless, and pray for our enemies and those who mistreat us. Essentially, he says, “If you want to follow me, then treat enemies the way you would treat a beloved friend.”

Of course, Jesus modeled this in an ultimate way by dying for us while we were still sinners and enemies of God so that we might become friends of God (Romans 5:8), and He invites us to follow His example by living sacrificially for others (1 Peter 2:21).


Real Friendship, Real Differences

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Occasionally, we move our Dinner Club from homes and into the mosque or the
church building, allowing more Muslims and Christians to join the fun. There
is something significant about getting into one another’s places of worship, as
doing so answers questions and dispels fears and myths from both sides.


Real friends enjoy one another’s company. Real friends play together and help one another. Real friends make scheduling and financial sacrifices so they can spend time together. Real friends talk openly and respectfully about deep matters of the heart. They share their convictions about faith and family and politics, eager to learn and persuade all at once. And real friends do all this with an abiding confidence that their friendship is bigger than their differences and that love (a commitment to pursue good for someone) covers a multitude of sins and disagreements.


You Can Do It!

Christians, will you join us in following Jesus into real friendships with Muslims? Muslims, will you follow the example of Jesus by building real friendships with Christians?

If you would like some tips to help you get started, feel free to post a comment below so that we can dialogue. We will be happy to share ideas, but keep in mind that it’s not rocket science and it might be as simple as smiling and saying hello to someone next time you’re out shopping!



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Thomas Davis is Peace Catalyst’s Southeast Regional Director and Global Peacemaking Coach. Read more from Thomas at


Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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